So, I don't post for nearly four months, and this is the post I publish to get things rolling again?Just be forewarned, at some point you'll likely say to yourself, "Where the doozle is he going with this?" Just stay with me:
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, when debts weren't paid in a timely manner, bounty hunters were hired to find the guilty parties. These bounty hunters either collected the outstanding debt, or they brought the guilty party, dead or alive, to the one for which the debt was owed.
Our good buddy, and longtime reader of 'a blog', Han Solo found himself in such a pickle early in Star Wars, Episode IV (but which was actually the first movie).
Sure, the Millennium Falcon could make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs, but when you owe money to Jabba the Hut, and Greedo, the Bounty Hunter, is asking for the money at blaster point (blaster point is akin to gun point, but why on Earth - or in a galaxy far, far away - would you ever hold someone at gun point if the alternative is to hold them at blaster point), things can get uncomfortable quick. Of course, even moderate fans of the Star Wars franchise (and if you're not even a moderate fan of Star Wars, then please kindly move your mouse to the button which closes this screen, and never return (and don't give me the, "Well, I'm a Star Trek fan, does that count?" It doesn't.)) know that Han outsmarts Greedo by subtly picking at the wallpaper above his shoulder with one hand, in an incredible move that distracts Greedo from realizing that underneath the table Han has successfully removed his blaster from his holster... and then BOOM (I realize that the noise that comes from blasters isn't "BOOM!" but what else would have worked there? ZAP!? BLASTER BLASTER!? ZIPPIDY DOO DAH!? Alas, "BOOM!" seemed to work best). Style points for blasting Greedo underneath the table, cause that's how Han rolls. Just before Greedo was blasted, he likely thought, "I sure hope Han gives the bartender a coin as he walks out of the cantina to help pay for the mess that is about to entail," which Han does, because let's face it, Han is a true gentlemen.
While Han escapes his debt for the time being, he has every intention of paying off Jabba. But, in the end, the one for which the debt is owed - Jabba the Hut - ends up on top by catching Han and freezing him in carbonite, which is preceded by this scene:
Leia: I love you.
Han: I know.
Chewbacca: (Roars!)
Anywho, I suppose that Jabba didn't actually end up on top if you consider that in Episode VI (but which was actually the third film), Princess Leia strangles him to death with a chain (remember, I warned you about this post, but stay with me...)
While we're aware of what was done a long time ago in a galaxy far, far way, recent events (well, not so recent - summer of 2010) have left me grasping for a proper response to a similar debt owing predicament.
Truth be told, a self-proclaimed, "squatter" of the CG53959 recently was trusted with a credit to calculate her usage of office supplies at the CG.
The tabular of transactions hung innocently behind my desk throughout the course of the summer, and while the aforementioned squatter has had ample time and multiple opportunities to pay off her debt, the tab remains unpaid.
Total charges include: 39 copies (at a rate of .03 per), 3 tissues (.005 per), 3 envelopes (.01), 6 staples (.001), 4 stamps (.44), and 1 scrap of notebook paper (.005)
While the total value of these transactions is a mere $2.97 - rounded up, of course - the principle of the matter leaves me no choice but to issue one last warning to the guilty party before I'll be forced to assemble a team of top-notch bounty hunters. These bounty hunters will stop at nothing - save for blaster wounds from Han Solo - to retrieve the monies owed to the organization for which I work.
Your move, Ms. Herron. Your move.
