Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Mustache Diaries IX

The top 8 things I've learned during the nine weeks of The Mustache Diaries:
  1. Egg nog is not fun to scrub out of your mustache after you get a little excited and drink it too fast.
  2. The thicker and fuller your goatee, the better people treat you. 6 weeks ago, when I would go to town or walk through Wal-Mart, people would stare and point at me as if I looked like this guy. Tonight, I went to McDonalds to get a mocha, and the lady smiled at me warmly and then did the unthinkable - she put extra whip cream on top.
  3. I got cut from the freshman high school basketball team, and I ran JV cross country all four years, however, I'm more accomplished than this pro basketball player, simply because of our upper lip growth comparison.
  4. Not this guy though, again, simply because of our upper lip growth comparison.
  5. Sometimes it feels like I have hair in my food, but it's just my mustache sneaking into the corners of my mouth.
  6. I'd pay close to $20 to be able to grow hair in the gap on my face between my side burns and goatee. As it is, I'll probably never be able to grow a beard.
  7. This advice I found on a women's hair website: "Be gentle with your hair and use a deep conditioner twice a week to help prevent damage," says DJ Freed, Aveda Global Master and owner of the Key Lime Pie Salon and Wellness Spa in Atlanta. works wonders on not only women's hair, but men's goatees as well.
  8. Patience is a virtue. My Dad used to always tell us, "If it were easy, everybody could do it." He would say this to encourage us to work hard at things such as soccer and school work, because the more effort you put into something, the more you'd get out of it. I always thought this was great advice, but it's taken on a whole new meaning after dedicating myself to this assignment 9 weeks ago. The finish line is still 11 days away, but I can't help but swell with pride over all I've accomplished in this time. Sure, I graduated from college. I have an amazing job. I once stayed awake for 78 straight hours. I can clap with one hand. I'm an incredible dancer. But nothing I've accomplished in my short 25 years can compare to growing a mustache the quality I'm growing. And darn it, the reason not many people have mustaches as sweet as mine is because it wasn't easy. Not even close. Thanks Dad.
Stay warm out there friends, and remember, if it were easy, everybody could do it.

- The Toph


Anonymous said...

I know of an endeavor you could take on and write about that I assure you would be entertaining; however, i don't think you would want to publish the information. Because I am personally experiencing it right now and it is amusing but uncomfortable.

Anonymous said...

by the way, this weeks picture looks much better than last weeks. it looks like you may have trimmed it.

Anonymous said...

Hey, i did have an idea about something you could try from week to week and write about. It would make you look kind of creepy, and I know what you are thinking, "how could it possibly be any more creepy than the facial hair?" It can. We are all aware of the really corny and stupid pick-up lines that guys use on girls in bars or clubs. My suggestion is that you take some of the lines like "If you were a booger I would pick you first" or the one about being from Tennesee, and you actually try these out in public places like the grocery store and keep everyone posted on which ones work. Obviously, few of them will, especially if you were to keep the facial hair, but the stories that would ensue might be worth telling.

Let me know what you think.